Build Rapport in 60 Seconds (or Less)

Rapport. How can you tell when you “have it” with someone? You might call it chemistry, others might refer to it as “clicking” with someone. 

Allowing rapport to do the heavy lifting in business communication can move relationships forward quickly and painlessly, while opening doors for you in unexpected ways. 

Whether the relationship exists between a client and sales professional, between a manager and employee, or between two business colleagues, establishing rapport creates the “glue” between people.

Four Steps to Building Rapport in 60 seconds:

1. Identify common denominators
2. Determine communication/social style
3. Align personal and professional values
4. Establish a baseline for building trust 

Step 1:  Identify common denominators (first 15 seconds).

Most people squander the opening seconds when meeting someone for the first time. You can learn a good deal about someone within the first fifteen seconds if you train your eyes and brain to collect and process the clues around you. 

Have you ever noticed how a suspense novelist or filmmaker uses the opening scene to set the stage and the mood for what follows? The same applies when you’re meeting someone for the first time; your objective is to identify at least one thing that you have in common with that person. 

Step 2:  Determine communication / social style (second 15 seconds).

Each of us have a primary preference for processing information and for sharing our thoughts and feelings with others, which together we refer to as our communication, or social, style. 

We can choose to connect with others from our strengths or fall prey to unhealthy triggers, such as exhaustion, hunger, anger, or stress. Skilled communicators recognize when someone is in their “backup mode” and can take immediate steps to shift h/her to their optimum state.   

Communication and social style assessments such as MBTI, DiSC, Wilson Learning, and Keirsey Temperament can help you clarify your communication strengths and identify the social styles of others.

Step 3:  Align personal and professional values (next 15 seconds).

What you do during the next fifteen seconds determines whether the initial connection has lasting potential. It requires that you listen on a deeper level.

Learning how to align your values isn’t about adopting the values of everyone you meet. It’s listening for underlying clues and cues about a person’s belief systems and their values. Empathizing with another’s core values allows you to create a bond without necessarily agreeing with their values.

Listen for the language someone uses during the conversation. Do they use “thinking” words or mostly “feeling” words? Do they use value-based words such as trust, honesty, ethics, or credibility? Try to get the person to describe a value word – you don’t want to assume that your definition is the same.

Step 4:  Establish baseline for building trust (last 15 seconds).

Rapport is a cornerstone of trust. When was the last time you did business with someone where your “gut” told you not do? What was the outcome? Can you remember the process you went through in assessing their trustworthiness? 

The intuitive process happens in a split second! Your brain stores information based on behaviors you’ve trusted in the past (as well as the times when you didn’t). Dredging up previous pain about  these attributes and behaviors will often translate to a mistrust of a person, although you can’t quite “put your finger” on why.   

TIP: Use the last 15 seconds to validate whether you’ve built rapport with the person, or if you need to return to one of the previous steps for a quick adjustment. Attempting to move a conversation forward before its time, often results in a feeling that you're just “spinning your wheels”.